When I was young, my family moved around often. My mother was the office manager that would be sent to statewide offices to “fix” them – get them organized, create systems that could be replicated and maintained, implement standards across the region for sharing information. My mother was good at her job so we moved along the Northern California region every 6 months or so. I had to learn at a very young age how to make new friends and how to let them go. Most of the moving around was before I was old enough to write letters (yes, we used to sit and write on paper, stick a stamp on it and mail the thing!). I also had to learn how to adapt to my new surroundings quickly – new teachers, new schools, new personalities, new home. We went from a big city of 1M people to small towns of only 20k and back to a big city of 500k. My emotional intelligence grew along with my education because no matter where we were, I was expected to be an A student and as an only child I needed to make friends.
In my youth, I wished I had ONE house to call home. I was envious of the other kids who had lived in the same house since birth. They had made a home, created memories, the walls could tell stories from the knicks and paint chips, the floors had stains from birthday parties. As an adult, I’ve now lived in the same house for 10 years. I’m creating my own home. However, I often feel the need to change things up quickly.
I share this story because I come across several women and men who resist change. They come to me looking to lose weight – the desire to make a change is prevelant. However, once we start going through a typical day’s schedule to identify areas for improvement resistance hits hard! I’m sure you’ve heard the old saying that the definition of instanity is to do the same things over and over and expect a different result. If someone wants to become healthier, lose weight, and live longer – wouldn’t it make logical sense that what they’ve been doing isn’t working so it’s time to do something different? Why are we so unwilling to modify those habits which have resulted in needing to search for a trainer to begin with?
Fear is the #1 reason people fail to start. But what are we fearful of? Usually, it’s the fear of failure. “I’ve tried to lose weight before and it worked for a short period but then I gained the weight back and more,” or “Dieting is just too difficult – having to cook 2 different meals for my family is just not time effecient,” or “My schedule is far too hectic to commit to working out for 45 min 4 days / week.” Have you ever heard any of these excuses from a friend or even said it yourself?
The failure you probably experienced is a failure MOST have experienced…me, too! There’s nothing more frustrating than feeling like you’ve tried really hard only to stay where you’re at. But how hard did you try? Did you commit 100%? Did you ask for support? Were your goals realistic? Did you get in your own way? There’s a huge opportunity to learn and be real about yourself. Ask yourself – WHY was your goal important – was it for someone else? Was it to make you feel more confident? Was it to be a good example to your family? We you serious about the goal or were you just going through the motions? Here are a few ways to identify your goal and succeed:
Create SMART goals – S: Specific, M: Measureable, A: Attainable, R: Realistic, T: Timely. Then break down those goals to smaller ones. Want to learn a new instrument? You probably need to learn how to play basic chords before you start playing Stairway to Heaven. Same with weight loss or healthy living. Break down those 50lbs to 5lb increments. Take out your calendar and carve out the 45 minutes you need for your self-care. The happier you are, the happier those around you will be. We’re here to enjoy life. So take some time to find out what makes you smile and you’ll succeed!